'Use it or lose it' is a real thing....and it sucks when you know you've lost it.

"Our culture teaches us to use self-criticism for motivation and to build self-esteem by constantly measuring ourselves against everyone else. We need to re-learn the essential skill of being genuinely nurturing and supportive toward ourselves.

Remember we can love and accept ourselves as we are, and at the same time encourage ourselves to adopt new behaviours that will make us healthier and happier"

- Kristin Neff & Chris Germer

A few months ago, I went mountain biking with some friends. Earlier in the year we were biking together pretty regularly but since then I've been busy with other things. They've kept up their biking, if not increased it, as one of them is training for Coast to Coast.

I had a shocker of a time. I felt unfit and lacked confidence on trails I've ridden before with much better performance. The reality of not putting the time in regularly smacked me in the face.

And I couldn't keep my head together....

😤 "I'm holding everyone up"
😤 "I used to be able to do this with no issues"
😤 "I'm ruining their ride today"
😤 "pull yourself together you should be able to get your head out of this spiral"
😤 "you teach these skills to other people and here you are failing at using them yourself"

And that mental spiral showed up in my body which just perpetuated the problem...
😡 clenching my jaw
😡 death gripping my handle bars when I didnt need to
😡 my chest feeling tight and my breathing getting shallower
😡 not being able to focus on the trail cos I was stuck in my head
😡 the lump in my throat growing as I fought back the tears of frustration

It was all too familiar. This isn't my first rodeo dealing with this on my bike. I knew how it would end....I've sat on the side of many trails bawling my eyes out before and I didn't want my friends to see that. So I quit and went home. Pissed off with myself for the whole thing and wishing I'd never gone in the first place. 🤯😫

This is my experience with managing my high-achiever mindset. Sound familiar?

Back in 2010 I had something like this happen to me in a multisport race and I didnt ride my bike again for 7 years 😞 Fortunately since then I've grown my mental skillset and I know that won't happen this time. Self-compassion is my biggest lever in this instance.

🤗 Gentle self-compassion allows me to be kind to myself. It's completely expected that I couldn't ride like I used to given how little time on the bike I've had. Being rusty is expected. Being less fit is expected, they're training for C2C! It's totally human to have a bad day and not be able to keep your head together. Having this experience doesn't mean I'm not good at my job.

🤨 Fierce self-compassion holds me accountable. It's ok to cut yourself some slack but if this really bothers you then what will you do about it? If being better at biking is important to me, then what actions will I take to keep myself better prepared? So the indoor trainer has made a come back into my weekly exercise schedule for 30-40 mins a week.

Self-compassion isn't letting yourself off the hook, it's actually a key strategy for staying on track. Learning to manage your high achiever mindset is a huge part of maintaining sustainable high performance.

The next time you berate yourself with that negative inner chat, can you ask yourself these 2 questions….

~ What would I say to a friend if they were going through this?

~ What is this telling me that I need?

If you’re keen for more, check out this podcast to listen to how you can start to build these skills yourself.

It’s a work in progress team. Keep at it!

~ Kirsten